El Nysa IC Inbox

[tutorb]

@sandratheunseeing
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Comments

UN: CAMULUS

[dontgiveabuckland]

sandi

i need your help

[tutorb]

Sandra

To what do I owe the pleasure of assisting you today

[ This is only about 70% sarcastic but a solid 40% is for the name... You're good people, Cam... Somewhere in there... ]

[dontgiveabuckland]

sandra dearest

[If he was talking, he would be using his dumb, fake posh voice.]

i seek the council of the wisest of orbs

[tutorb]

[ It's okay, somehow she can hear it even through Siri's dispassionate monotone... ]

Well you would be hard pressed to find a wiser orb darling Camulus

Or for that matter one measurable on the scale of wise at all

Out with it you what needs my attention

[dontgiveabuckland]

[Darling Camulus. Cam likes that.]

im trying to find someone

youre pretty well connected yeah

?

[tutorb]

I am not exactly what one might call a socialite but I have done my fair share of people watching over the past few months

[ Or rather, people Reading. ]

Name or tell me of this unfortunate soul you seek

[dontgiveabuckland]

she has red hair

super hot

like really hot

[tutorb]

[ ................................ ]

[ ............ ]

[ She's not sure what she expected. ]

Be a dear and elaborate for a blind woman would you

[ what about her personality you useless animal ]

[dontgiveabuckland]

[Oh, right.]

small and angry??

[It’s hard, he hasn’t really had a good chance to talk to her… and the last time she was just mad. What else—Oh!]

she doesnt talk

[tutorb]

[ Truth be told she could probably make an educated guess on his initial description of her based on community consensus alone, but she intends to make him at least try... And it's... a 2/10 at best. ]

Oh

Rude silent red-haired cavorts with an enormous swordsman

I know of such a lovely girl what business do you have

[ Maybe cavorts with an enormous swordsman is enough to dissuade him from calling on her for her hotness. ]

[dontgiveabuckland]

[Nothing could dissuade him from speaking the truth. Also the swordsman isn’t that enormous. Just like, 2 inches and 20 lbs of pure muscle on Cam. Anyway, he’s glad that his search has already provided fruitful results.]

i have a thing for her

[tutorb]

[ He could and would snap you like a twig, Camulus, and that is what matters here. ]

[ That isn't how she's used to anyone admitting their affections, but to be frank, with that initial description, she isn't going to trust 90% of anything that comes out of his mouth not to be sexually charged. ]

I am afraid she is already quite spoken for

[dontgiveabuckland]

[jlgfljfdg]

well just because theyre dating doesnt mean he can talk for her shes her own person

[Duh. But that’s irrelevant to what he wants.]

i want to give her a thing

to apologize

[tutorb]

Oh do not mistake my meaning he has no claim to her

He is absolutely under her thumb, all of it willing

[ It's disgusting, honestly. Repulsive. Why won't anyone look at her like that. ]

Really now what have you to apologize for

[dontgiveabuckland]

[god i wish that was me no cam doesn't want to talk about this :( ]

i pretended to be her boyfriend to sneak in town

[tutorb]

[ Look Red might be a little bitch to her sometimes but she ships it. ]

Are you quite serious did you cozy right up to her and expect her to play along with your sweet nothings

[ She's actually genuinely tickled by this, even if text is a poor conductor. She can only imagine Red's silent foot-crushing indignation at being ladyfriended by such an oaf. Nice. ]

[dontgiveabuckland]

[Let's be real once Cam gets to know their grossness, he'll ship it too ]

not really

i used an illusion to look like swordguy

i didnt know they were dating!!!!

[tutorb]

[ It's impossible to not ship. ]

[ Anyway, illusions sound like quite the neat trick, but she's heard of (and made of) far weirder. Consider it, for now, nothing but a novelty. ]

And she caught you in the act

[ Boxer is big, but he has the art of not making waves down to a science, trying to imagine Cam emulating such a persona... Yeah Red would catch on in a heartbeat. And knowing her, probably gave him a sound thrashing. ]

That is quite possibly the most hilarious thing I have pictured in a fortnight I ought to thank you

[dontgiveabuckland]

yeah it was a real hoot

[how does one write sarcasm on these things?]

anyway she hates me now so i need help

[tutorb]

[ Don’t worry. She can feel the sarcasm burning even through Siri’s dulcet monotone. ]

Well I can certainly point you toward her or I suppose steer you clear if that is what you would prefer

Or are you asking me how you think it best to apologize to her

[ Because she still owes Red a little apology herself, probably. They’re a prickly pair at best. ]

[dontgiveabuckland]

apologize

[But not in person, yet... he's intimidated.]

i was thinking a gift

[tutorb]

Well that is usually a winning proposition but she is a woman with rather fine taste

I cannot say she has been particularly vocal on the topic of her favorite things

But I know she is quite musically inclined

[dontgiveabuckland]

[So, then, why is she dating Boxer And music!]

i could sing her a song

[Cam has a +12 in perform, it might not be terrible.]

[tutorb]

[ Wow excuse Boxer is an absolute gentleman ]

You

Could

[ ... ]

As well as I know her she is the one that really prefers to be doing the singing

[dontgiveabuckland]

[It's true :'| If only Cam could be half as cool.]

true plus then i would have to be there in person.

[Defeats the purpose of leaving a gift.]

wait she can sing